16 Youth Sports

In this episode of Winning Regardless, Coach Rodo takes on a subject close to his heart: the evolution of youth sports. He makes a compelling case for the traditional neighborhood-based sports of his youth, contrasting them with today's specialized, money-driven travel teams.

Rodo argues that while modern athletics can offer opportunities, they often strip away the most crucial elements of youth sports: friendship, community, and genuine fun. He shares powerful stories from his own life and coaching career to illustrate how being with friends and learning to accept a role—whether on the field or in life—builds the kind of character that can't be bought. This is a must-listen for any parent trying to navigate the complex world of youth athletics and decide what's truly best for their child.

Key Discussion Points:

The Great Divide: Rodo explains the difference between the "neighborhood vs. neighborhood" model he grew up with and the "money-driven" travel teams of today.

Life Lessons from Play: How youth sports teaches kids essential skills like humility, handling criticism, and accepting their role, using the example of a star player becoming a "practice dummy" in college.

Friends First: The importance of prioritizing a child's friendships and allowing them to simply "be a kid," even if it means skipping a big game.

The Warning of Privilege: How money in sports can create a sense of privilege that detracts from the shared, equal-footing experience that defines true team competition.

Compassion in Action: A moving story about how his son learned to use his talent to help another kid on the team feel the joy of the game, highlighting the teaching of compassion.

Transcript

Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome to another edition of Coach Rodo's Winning Regardless podcast. Today, I want to talk about the importance of youth sports. ⁓ Youth sports today is a lot different than it was when I was a kid. Because when I was a kid,

We all was from the neighborhood. It was like I grew up on the South side. So we had our rocket football team, our Pop Warner football team. West side had their Pop Warner football team. East side had their own Pop Warner football team. And South, so on and so forth. There was none of this, know, teen camps. ⁓

our kids, know, the travel stuff ⁓ that divided you up. was pretty much neighborhood versus neighborhood. And, you know, the one thing that I loved about youth sports was it gave me something to do as a kid consistently.

You know, today we have a problem in youth sports as far as money is taking it over. You know, we got the private lessons for most kids, you know, your best kids, they don't stay in the neighborhood anymore. You know, they get recruited by these other little teams and they take them and, you know, they move them out and, know, what we as parents, even though it's great, and, you know, it makes you feel good. What we're doing is we're taking our kids away from their friends.

You know, if you remember anything about being a kid, you didn't care how good you were unless your friends in your neighborhood told you how good you were. You didn't really care about what people on the West Side thought about you. If mugs on the South Side said you were sweet, that's all that matters, then you were sweet. You know, now the kids that we say are like that, they...

take them and you know, hey, your kid is sweet so we're gonna specialize him and then we want him to come to this program and then they leave. What youth sports did for me and not having that aspect like these kids have today is I got to stay with my friends. One of the most important things in my life is I have so many friends back home and all we talk about is the sports that we played together.

not against each other, but together with each other when we were youths. ⁓ It's hard for kids to enjoy youth sports when it is based on money. Youth sports, I don't believe it should be based on money. mean, of course, you should have the money to be able to play in tournaments and...

do things ⁓ as far as the practices, rent the fields, stuff like that. But I don't remember as a kid, I don't ever remember us renting a field. I remember us, hey, we got practice at Benjamin Davis. We got baseball practice. Well, Benjamin Davis was open field. I mean, I don't know if those days are gone or not, but ⁓ it was important that we had a place to practice that was.

free and we didn't, you know, didn't think about the money that was involved because back then money involved in sports was not a big deal. I mean, I understand now that it's a paying thing, but again, we're taking away from what youth sports was really all about, which was friendship, I believe, you know, and competitiveness and keeping your ass out of trouble and...

you know, giving you something to do ⁓ all day, every day, you know, and being able to play it, whether you had practice or not. You and your friends are outside playing. You learned how to play, you know, not even just the sport, you know. People don't understand, you know, every aspect of playing as a kid had a sports connotation to it, you know, tag. You had to juke a mug if you didn't want him to tag you. You had to juke him.

Because if you tagged you, you was it or you was frozen. You you used that footwork in football, you used that footwork in track, you used that footwork in baseball. know, if you played hide and seek, you know, it had an aspect, an element of sport, because hunting is a sport. You know, I mean, you're not gonna sit right out in the open for the deer to see you. You know, I mean...

Even everything that you do as a kid that relies on play has a lot to do with sports. we always we only consider youth sports being in football, basketball, baseball, soccer, track, you know, but sport is play. You know, it's you know, it teaches you, you know, how to compete. It teaches you how to.

come to a common goal, everyone having a common goal. And sometimes it's not winning. Sometimes it's about making other people better, making your other friends better, picking your other friends up so that when y'all play against the West Side, hey, we all even. They can't go after our weak link. That's what youth sports did. It taught you, and it was harsh. It was all about your mentality because in my neighborhood, we would tell you if you were sorry, but the one thing we wouldn't let you do is quit.

youth sports. You couldn't quit. had to, hey man, you sorry, can you tackle? But guess what? We get done after practice, we play kill the man and the same motherfucker we was talking about, man, get your ass over here. We about to learn how to tackle now we playing kill the man. You you throw that ball up in the air, run, go get him. You know, he learned, you learn to tackle. Why? Because your friends dogs you. You didn't get to run. You didn't get to go home and say, Hey, I don't want to do it anymore because

And so-and-so said, suck. OK, well, what do you got to do to get better? That's what youth sports does, because at a young age, you get to forget. By the time you become a grown-up, you're going to forget everything unless it made you better or made you who you were. Because none of us start out to be professional athletes. You have to do youth sports to find out even if you love playing sports.

You know, and you think about it when you were a kid, you played every sport. Now we take that away from our kids. We specialize them, you know, we take away, you know, I want you to be a baseball player. Well, what got down? What if I wanted to play football and basketball too? But you got me doing all of these basketball, you know, programs and going to pitching classes and hitting classes. One of my friends is outside playing football at the park.

Or, you know, they out there playing, you know, stickball. But I'm here doing this. And again, you know, the kid is going to tell you that they want to do it because, you know, sometimes they do want to do it. But one thing that I've learned from being a coach, kids want to be kids. Kids want to play. How do you know? Have you ever sat back after a game and watched?

the group of kids. I don't know about you, but my kids, never fucking sat down. We'd get done playing a full basketball game, be hot as hell. I'd go outside. ⁓ I'm trying to get them to stay inside in the air conditioner. I'd go outside. The motherfuckers out there playing four square. Motherfuckers out there running around chasing each other, trying to take each other's food. I mean, just kids being kids.

And that's what youth sports do and or does. And I feel as parents, because we want to live vicariously through them, we take that away from them. Not realizing that essentially we take them away from their friends. You know, I was lucky enough to have, you know, my oldest son, fucking brilliant, fucking smart, straight A student. you know, athletics wasn't his thing. Working and making money was his thing. Our youngest.

was smart as well, but athletics was his thing. But the one thing that I never wanted to do was not let him be a kid. So if he did play tribal baseball and it came a weekend where they were going out of town, but he wanted to go camping with his buddy in North Carolina, how often is he gonna get the chance to go camping with his buddy in North fucking Carolina? But these baseball tournaments, we had one of these motherfuckers every goddamn weekend.

We had a basketball tournament every weekend. So I would always weigh those things like as a child, what would I want to do? Man, go spend the weekend with your friend down in North Carolina. Be good. You know what you're supposed to do? Call us if you need anything. Call us baseball coach and let him know, well, we could really use Devin. Yeah, well, you know, he wants to take this weekend and go hang out with his buddies. I was OK with allowing my son to be a kid. And guess what? It fucking never hurt him.

The motherfucker got basketball scholarships, got all his college paid for. The goal was never to go pro. When we first, when we set out, when we finally figured out that we had a goal with sports other than to play, have a good time, have structure, discipline, friends, once we got past that, the goal was to get school paid for. Well, guess what? He did that because

You don't really see very many five foot, 10, six foot point guards unless you're Curry in the NBA. So he already knew in his mind that sports is my conduit to get my education, to be able to get a good job, to take care of my needs and my wants in life. And it started with youth sports. And again, I feel a lot of it was because...

I allowed him to be a kid first. And I mean, that was tough for me because, you know, I was one of those athletes and felt if I had this break and I had that break, I could be doing this. I could have been doing that. You know, we all do that if you were a good athlete. But I had to not project that on my child. And we as parents, we do that. And when we do that, we pull them away and we specialize them.

And now all of a sudden, their friends aren't the same. Now all of a sudden, they don't know the new kid that moved into the neighborhood because they've been gone. all of a sudden, kids don't come knocking on your door no more to come play because they know you're gone and you're going to do something. Therefore, you're missing out on experiences in life that you can never get back that shape and mold you as a child. ⁓

And I'm not saying that parents are bad and wrong, the ones who do that. By any means, you you do what you feel is best for your child. This is just my opinion. This is just what I've witnessed. This is what I've coached. This is how I felt as a child. You know, I always try to take myself back. You know, even when I was punishing my kids, you know, how would I feel? What would be the big deal for me?

as a kid in this moment, in this situation. That's how I would punish them based on, you know, well, is it really worth what I want to do? No. And you find out nine times out of 10 as a parent that it's not. However, back to what we're talking about, youth sports is a great way to teach your kids how to react in society.

You know, you play against other teams and you make friends on other teams. You know, you start to pay attention to each other throughout your guys' middle school, high school careers. You know, the specialization thing to me, would have taken you away from your friends, you know, it also gives you a complex ⁓ of sometimes, you know, thinking that you're better than. ⁓

And you have to be humbled. know I have a friend, a kid that I coached who, great kid, but had one of those situations, because he was a hell of a baseball player, but he was a great kid. mean, the kid, an example of kids loving youth sports. He was my quarterback on my 11 year old football team, rocket football team. He had...

a baseball tournament. His dad played baseball at one of the colleges. You know, one of the colleges, one of the big colleges. So his dad was a big time baseball. So he made sure his kid was in the baseball like that. But he also played rocket football, was my quarterback. He had a baseball tournament. Wasn't gonna be, and it was our last game, wasn't even gonna be able to play. His mother said he cried that whole week.

Because he wanted to play in the football game, not the baseball tournament, the football game. And why? Because his friends, and they said because of the coach, which was me, but you know, I have a, know, that's neither here nor there, you know, and it just touched me so much and it touched her so much that she told his dad he's not going. I mean, look at him. He's...

fucking miserable because he wants to be at this football game and not going to travel baseball, playing with kids that he know but not his friends. See, there's a difference. When you go to these things, these are kids that's coming from other areas. So you didn't play with them. You guys didn't tie each other shoes. You you guys didn't go into the store with one of you got money and come out with something for everybody.

like the kids on his football team with him did. So it was a big deal to him to be around his friends. And as he got older with baseball, he played on my basketball team.

stayed around, every sport other than once he got into high school, he stopped playing football. I get a phone call about how he was acting at a baseball game. I mean, he's a really good baseball player, but he didn't like something that was done, you know, showed up, the person who, you know, and it was funny because of all the people that they could have called, I got a phone call. I'm in Mexico. I get a phone call.

They tell me about it and I call him. What is this I hear about you? Hey coach. Yeah, what's this I hear? I already know. I mean, but, but, but why? Why? ⁓ you know, the, the, the, the more, the, the, the reason I'm telling you this is because he got away.

from what was fun and it became so important like it was a job to where he treated grown-ups as if they were kids. And he's a kid. And again, that comes from being taught in youth sports. You respect the referee as if that was your motherfucking parent. You would never talk back to your parent, at least I hope. So therefore...

you never talk back to a referee. having that conversation with him, he felt so horrible about it. And his mom got on the phone with me and it was like, me and his dad told him this down the third, but it really affected him hearing from you how f*cked up it was. And I say, when you take kids away from their friends, because your friends also teach you how to behave.

The one thing I gotta say about travel is, you know, because it costs money, your kids are fucking privileged. I'm not afraid to say that. My kid played travel baseball. Fuck yeah, my son was privileged. You know what I mean? Because I had the money, we had the money to pay for the motherfucker to do it. Just like all the other parents that send their kids, you know, so they're privileged. What youth sports do in the neighborhood, it teaches you, we all on the same level. You ain't no fucking better than I am.

And that's what he lost. And I believe when we take our kids out of youth sports and specialize them, that's what we lose. That's what they lose. Because again, you as a parent, as a grownup, can tell a kid how f*cked up they are all you want to, but until they friends tell them, until their peers tell them how f*cked up they are, they'll never listen to you and they'll never believe it.

So youth sports has a lot to do with how your children become women, men, mothers, fathers, employees, employers. Youth sports has a lot to do with the type of human being that you'll end up being. It played a lot in the type of human being that I am. It played a lot in the type of human being that both of my boys are.

Paid a lot in my editors who told me it taught him how to learn what his role is when he would play college football. Being the best in his area, you know, from youth football all the way up. And then when you go to a college and they tell you you're a practice fucking dummy, you gotta know your role right there, you gotta humble yourself. Youth sports teaches you how to do that.

Some travel sports do, but most of the time it doesn't because you're at that level where everything now is about money. What you sports is, it's about fun and about the lessons that you learn in life. And you learn that everybody is on equal footing. When the gun fires, it's time to run that race. That's when you find out who's out of their class and who isn't.

sports, youth sports teaches you how to know about your role in life. You know, again, talking about going to college, being a top player in your area, going to school and now you're a practice dummy. Coach calls you and tell you, you know, that's what you are. What can I do to get... And what if he tells you there's nothing you can do? You know, what do you do? Do you use it as a life lesson or do you...

You know, pow, and say, fuck it, I quit. I mean, no, youth sports helps you figure out which one of those two you're gonna do.

Youth sports teaches you how to accept your role. It teaches you how to accept when other people tell you what your position is because you can't always pick your own position. Other people that are of authority figures teaches you or tell you what your position is. youth sports, in my estimation, teaches you how to accept that. It doesn't mean you have to be okay with it.

but it teaches you how to accept that. So therefore, in youth sports, you always have a chance to change your position. You always have a chance to get better or to get worse. But most of the time, they get better. And I found that most of my kids got better when they stayed in the fucking neighborhood, not when they went out and played with kids that were just as good as them.

or playing with these AAU basketball teams, you know, baseball travel. But my son did it all. But I still think his best was when he was playing youth sports with his friends in the neighborhood. Why? Because I saw him teach kids his age, 10-year-olds, you know, hey, if you cut here, I'll hit you with a bounce pass.

You know, I watched him, hey, get them hands up or the ball gonna hit you in the face. I saw him be an instructor. I saw my oldest, you know, go through the neighborhood and challenge kids in basketball and in football and, you know, running around the neighborhood, who's the running track and, you know, just seeing him, I just got to see him.

being kids, because that's what youth sports brings out. Whereas to doing the travel brings out so much competitiveness that you forget about fun. I always used to ask my team, or not even my team, when my son played, my first question to him was, did you have fun? I didn't care about winning or losing. I needed to know how your attitude was going to be that day.

You know, if you had fun, you were gonna have a good attitude. Well, some days he didn't have fun because he was competitive and losing isn't as fun as winning. However, he never came home and complained about the type of fun that he did or did not have because he understood that having fun is for ⁓ my one team.

This team is about competitiveness. What playing youth sports taught him was how to decipher between the two, when to be serious and when to have a good time. And I always again thought he was the best player I ever saw was when he was playing away aside from his travel teams. Even now as a grown up when I go to one of the league or two of the league games, I watch him and it's still like.

I smile because it's still like the little kid I see out there, you know, giving the special needs kid and his middle school team the ball to score a bucket in the very last game of their middle school because nobody ever did and this kid would never get in the game and this is something he's gonna remember for the rest of his life. Youth sports teaches you that shit. It teaches you compassion.

It teaches you how to have a heart for somebody. It teaches you that if you're better than somebody at something, then I'm gonna help this other person with my skill do something they probably would never ever be able to do again or never have done. This kid will remember for the rest of his life that Devin in the seventh grade got him the ball the last game of the season. He took eight shots and he made one.

⁓ I love my boys because youth sports also taught them how to give. We never did the fundraising things that they do with youth sports because I was just never for that stuff. But they learned how to give in the fact of helping kids

get better and learn and essentially enjoy youth sports. Enjoy it to where the moms will come up and say, hey, he wasn't going to sign up the next session. Now he's going to. Alex helped. Alex made him enjoy it so much. That's my oldest son. Alex made him enjoy it so much that he's decided that he's going to sign up again. Youth sports does that. He has so much fun playing with Devon.

that we thought that he wasn't gonna play basketball or baseball, football anymore, but he says every time, my friend Devin, my friend Devin. And it's it's youth sports. It teaches you how to make friends. It teaches you how to be friends. And it also teaches you how to compete at the same time and to understand that it ain't about money all the time.

You use money to hone skills. You don't use money to make youth sports. So that's my opinion and that's my feel and that's my take on youth sports. How necessary I believe it is in life for our children. How necessary it is in our life for parents because it gives us something to do. It gives us an outlet on the weekends. It gives us some fun. It gives you a chance to praise your child if you don't otherwise get to.

⁓ So again, know, all of these is my opinions. If you have any questions or anything, you know, write them, you know, we can always discuss them. Again, just strictly my opinion. ⁓ I hope you enjoy your day. Thank you for listening to another edition of Coach Rodo's Winning Regardless podcast.